Dating and Sex: Reviews

Reviews & Awards (click here for Interviews)

2016 Silver Medal winner, Eureka! Awards, California Reading Association

2016 Bronze Medal winner, Foreword INDIES Book Awards

Best Non-Fiction Books of 2016Heidi Stevens, Chicago Tribune

“Smiler, the associate editor of the journal Psychology of Men and Masculinity, has written an insightful and engaging work that explores dating and sex in a nonjudgmental manner. He emphasizes early on that the primary focus for teens should be awareness of their identity and being comfortable with their bodies. Smiler asserts that dating and sex also call for an understanding of one’s partner as well as adherence to one’s values and preferences. The very extensive list of references (a whopping 15 pages) is likely more suited to professionals than to the average teen reader. However, there are charts, a short resource list (pertaining only to three of the 11 chapters), and a comprehensive index. Overall, this is a refreshing work that covers a number of pertinent issues (body image, masturbation, sexual identity, etc.) with sensitivity and clarity. VERDICT In addition to teen boys, parents and youth professionals should also find this title rewarding.” – Jeanette Lambert, School Library Journal.

Boys shouldn’t have to feel they already know all the answers. Neither should parents. This book does a great job of pushing back on those expectations, even as it offers just about everything a teen needs or wants to know — and maybe then some.” – Heidi Stevens, Chicago Tribune

“Even though Dating and Sex: A Guide for the 21st Century Teen Boy is written especially for young men, it is filled with practical, invaluable wisdom for readers of all ages and genders….Highly recommended, for public and school library collections, and a ‘must-read’ for teenagers everywhere.” – Midwest Book Review

“Striking a balance between guy-talk candidness and clinical directness, Smiler, a developmental psychologist and author, provides honest, in-depth information regarding sexual development for boys. While the book’s 11 chapters cover basics such as the changes of puberty, asking someone out on a date, and solo and partnered sex, more complicated psychological and emotional aspects of human sexuality and identity are also examined. A section on forming long-term relationships details reasons why a relationship might end (“You might realize that your partner has become [or has always been] disrespectful of you”). Issues of consent, gender roles, stereotypes, and the often-confusing and little-discussed emotions in boys’ early sexual experiences (“After being sexual, some guys feel sad or guilty”) add to a substantive, thorough treatment of the topic.” – Publisher’s Weekly

Dating and Sex is full of useful information about sexual thoughts, feelings,  functioning. and relationships. The intended audience is adolescent males, and the style and language makes it especially accessible to that group.  The researcher in me appreciates that the information presented throughout is up-to-date and reflects mainstream research findings, without jargon and endless tables.  The instructor of college level human-sexuality courses in me is pleasantly surprised to see many of the same messages I have been conveying to Freshman for 40 years.  I highly recommend this book.” – John DeLamater, PhD, Co-author of “Understanding Human Sexuality”

In summary, Dr. Smiler has written a game-changing text. Too many boys, including me, have had to find the answers to sexual questions through unhealthy sources, and the frequently asked questions section alone would have been incredibly valuable in my earlier, awkward years. I am confident that any boy who finds this book mysteriously appear on his bed in the future will be equipped with a wealth of practical knowledge about how to have safe, healthy, and fulfilling intimate relationships.” – Ryan McDermott, PhD, Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity

“Andrew Smiler addresses many of the issues adolescent boys wonder and worry about, and many of the topics parents and even Health teachers avoid discussing with boys. While I recommend that parents of sons get this book for their boys, I also recommend that they read it themselves!” – Lori Day, MEd, co-author “Her Next Chapter: How Mother-Daughter Book Clubs Can Help Girls Navigate Malicious Media, Risky Relationships, Girl Gossip, and So Much More”

“The book will help teens understand the complexities of dating, relationships, sex, sexuality, and knowledge of self without bogging them down in too much detail, discussion, or dry information. The book recognizes its limits and points out when the reader may need to go to other resources for more complex issues.” – Jay Blevins, LMFT, Awen Therapy.

If only I’d had this fabulous book by @AndrewSmiler when I was a teen! I needed this!” – David Ley, PhD, author “Ethical Porn for Dicks”

I loved it. It’s the book I wish I had when I was a teen. It’s a book every teen guy will benefit from — I just hope they get their hands on it. It reminded me of playing video games as a teen, when I would get stuck on a particular level and read a detailed walk-through on GameFaqs. This book is the gamefaqs walk-through of dating and sex.” – Sam Killermann, creator “It’s Pronounced Metrosexual